Re: [BardonPraxis] Step I Questions

[Allen Kray <sourceport@...>]

Hello Daniel,

> First, about Thought Control:
> When I start the exercise, my mind is a pretty quiet
> and peaceful 
> place. Just about nothing transpires inside. After a
> short while, I 
> suddenly start getting thoughts like "what should I
> be thinking 
> about?", "am I even doing this right?", "the
> thoughts from before 
> which did rise were [...].", "perhaps I should ask
> about this in the 
> online message board?", "these thoughts seem like
> thoughts which 
> describe what I'm observing, and yet I seem to
> observe them happening 
> actively in my mind? Does it mean that I'm not
> observing anymore?".
> Indeed, am I doing it right? Am I not the observer
> anymore once I 
> start thinking about what I observe, or something
> like that?
> 

The same thing happens to me as well. Though, I find
that if I just accept this chatter I create, other
noise creeps up out of nowhere - images, strange
expressions, etc. Sometimes I just even hear myself
just saying, "blah blah blah" and an interesting image
pops up out of nowhere and I just start observing from
there...

> As for the breathing and Eucharistic exerices:
> Before now, I used to think about my wish in words
> (e.g. "I bless 
> this soup with willpower. I have a tremendous force
> of will. I can 
> resist all temptations, [etc]."
> I felt that is needed, because I found out that I
> don't exactly have 
> a complete internal definition for the word
> "willpower", so I had to 
> clarify what exactly did I mean.
> Now, when I bless my food/before each breath, I
> visualize the 
> following 2 short scenes: I'm in bed, under a comfy
> blanket, and the 
> alarm clock rings. I turn it off, and continue
> sleeping. A big red X 
> appears on the image. Then, I'm in bed again, and
> the alarm clock 
> rings. Instead of turning it off, I rise, and go to
> do my business. A 
> big green V appears.
> Then, while eating/circulating the breath in my
> body, I continue to 
> verbally hold/repeat the thought just like before.
> I feel that this is much better, as I know ~exactly~
> what I mean, 
> instead of that ambigous (to me) "willpower".
> Is that okay?
> 

I experimented with this in the beginning and I find
very specific images of myself doing something is very
effective. For example, I imagine a concrete little
film of myself doing cleaning chores and then condense
it in my food and drink. After a few meals, I feel
compelled then to do my laundry and clean the house.
This way is very effective for me. If I use the same
little film as well in the breathing exercises, then
the thought of cleaning lingers constantly in the
front of my mind until I realize that little film in
physical motion. Great stuff!

Sincerely,
Allen 

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