RE: [BardonPraxis] Re: Step1 - Step2 Sequence and fatigue, etc.

["lux xul" <luxxul@...>]

lArrivalTime: 02 May 2004 02:11:39.0757 (UTC) FILETIME=[CDF6C1D0:01C42FEA]
>
>Hi Basim,
>
> > Most of the others I know replace OOT with TT, and then TT with
>EOM.
>
>Yeah, that's what I've been doing. But, after a period of
>performing EOM, I felt like I was losing the TT ability. I've since
>gone back to it, but my routine is kind of screwy now. My feeling
>is that I should continue both, and just tack on the extra time it
>takes. I find that I'm kind of burnt out though, after the half
>hour, morning and night, of impregnating breaths, TT, and then
>EOM.

I too have experienced this sort of 'burn out' in step two. I even found 
that I could possibly relate this 'cloudy mindfullness' to my own sense of 
resistance to the daily regime. It seemed to spark mainly during the closed 
eye visualization process (I can easily visualize with eyes open, projecting 
the visual, etc.). It seemd I'd NEVER gain the objective!! NEVER be so clear 
that I could say.. that is what I was seeking...to finally say with clear 
sincere honesty.." Now I may move on"... to what I would consider easier 
mental concentration exercises...

ah.. the trial-by-fire of the imbalanced fire element psyche :)

Visualize clearly !! WITH MY Eyes closed!?? Tough!! To hold the image IN 
PERSPECTIVE and AT ITS PHYSICAL LOCATION without adding the sense of touch 
and movement about the object (like Im teeny) with my eyes closed took more 
effort than I expected.

I found a trick however... "see/experience the objects essential meaning 
with your visualizing 'inner eyes sight'. Absorb the "essential meaning' as 
light would be received by your physical eyes.

I digress..

In essence (no pun intended) I decided to take a four day break w/o setting 
time for working out or the step2 practices. I indulged my watery sense 
instead of my fire (visual) one.

Came back to the step2 exercises refreshed.

O.. BTW.. Candle flames work well as they provide increased physical VISUAL 
light to start from and they MOVE and are interesting in their emotive 
associations, etc. All around, the 'essential meaning' "SEEN/Experienced" 
via inner sight of a flame is profound (i thought so, I mean.. and I 
naturally resisted trying this at first.. seemed such a 'cliche")..AND.. its 
related to the fire element as well.

Another 'trick' that worked for me.. imagining the 'object being visualized 
with my eyes closed' to lift and levitate to the area before my forehead. 
Seemed brighter and I didnt have to work so hard for the perspective of the 
object. Could move it around and turn it . make it visually interesting, 
etc. Kept my interest more easily than an object just sitting on a table and 
not moving.Actually, I was trying to avoid the act of mentally moving 
myself to its level and travelling around and about it to create the same 
interest effect and reduction of perspective issues. This too seemed much 
easier to do than just look at it. It also seemd to more effectively 
integrate EOM.

Rawn.. these 'movement of object' tricks.. are they 'acceptable' as 
visualization tools for this particuler exercise? I would think they should 
only be temporary aides. Perspective appears to be one of the most difficult 
'mental disciplines' within the 'closed eyes visualization' excercise.

MORE oN STEP2 ..

As to breathing .. I found it far less tiring to seperate the series of 
breathings (in and out) into sets. First set, breath in <whatever> X times 
and exit breath w/o thoughts.. IE EOM. When the max 'feels reached' then 
reverse it and the set of breathing out with intent <whatever> X times while 
breathing in in EOM state. I also added this step (CPore Breathing) to the 
BEGINNING of my exercises insteasd of the last step of my series.

Question.. Has anyone else , in dreaming after nightly CPB.. found 
themselves in a very airy place with guazy absolutely beautiful artwork and 
thin 'alloof' people.. even spiral rooms ? These people were beautiful and 
vain and aloof. But not hearltess at all. Just detatched somehow... they 
seemed even curious.

Has anyone else found that doing several CPB exercises.. ie as many breaths 
as 20 or 40.. is so much like too much caffienne that they find it very 
difficult to go to sleep as well as find they are more 'testy' and 
'fast'(??) within themselves and with others?

Result.. I lowered the number of CPB to less than 15. :) <phew..>

Thank you for your patience :)

:T:

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