My introduction... Hello

["SeaWinder" <seawinder@...>]

Thanks, Ron; 

I will repost today my introduction. 
I have finally found a logical, practical stey-by-step, balanced
source of information in this group and in the published teachings of
Franz Bardon. To this I give a heartfelt "thanks." 

As I will probably be spending the better part of the rest of my life
within this discussion group by preference it feels right to give a
short description of where I have been along my path.

My personal intention of studying first with the IIH and following
through the steps of the courses here is to respond in the affirmative
to the inner calling of my Father, IHVH, the father and creator of all
and in all, to become fully actualized in his Holy and Mystical
Qaballa to assist with his will, others within creation and balancing
myself.

I am age 52. When I was 30 I had an intense inner calling to a then
unknown spiritual path within myself. I was an intense and focused
learner with a voracious appetite for the sources of human spiritual
experience. I found that the sources of eastern as well as western
mysticism seemed to be using the same colors, pictures to describe
about the same inner path for we humans to self actualize to the
fullest of our natural inner abilities. 

I studied the I-Ching, throwing the coins and reading all three
interpretations of the outcome of the coin toss at least 3 times daily
for three years. Indeed, becoming in close contact with the law of
changes in nature. 

I studied a pranayamic breath (I forget the name of it, but any
researcher can find it by it's description in yogic texts) while
living in Madison, Wisconsin which has intense and long winters, of
the inner heating breath. It consists of curling the tongue at the
sides and closing down breathing through the nostrils. It aches like
heck in the tongue muscle for about the first three months of
conditioning this muscle to work differently. Guess what? The prize of
results came pouring in after that. I could put on thermal
undergarments, jeans, shirt and jacket and boots and go walking in a
blizzard atop the frozen lake and stand still or while walking
meditate in peace for hours, alone. What occurs with this breath is
equalizing the temperature inside the lungs along the temperature of
the outside air. You don't "feel" as vast of a difference in
inner/outer temperatures, therefore you are not freezing. Secondly
there is a condensation of breath that occurs at the base of the nasal
cavity which drips sweet, warm drops down your throat, which is
warming. The third and most interesting effect of the breathing
exercise technique is that it causes the body to actually go into a
subdued semi-"hybernation" effect. It is very unique and pleasant.

Also from the eastern system I learned and meditated on the chackras
system within myself. I found that in comparing the two systems of
hermetic self initiation, western/eastern that the western was very
esoteric and difficult to find "any" step by step helpful
instructions, whereas the eastern systems had that all built into
them. (Until now, 20 years later, finding the Bardon system, grins).

>From meditating on the chackras systems for only the same three years
I found that my natural abiliy to help others with a sensitivity to
touch and massage techniques really deepened. I can blank out to a
white board the inner chackras within myself and allow the chackras
energies from another person to imprint their form, texture, energy
onto mine and I then can tell exactly what state the other person is
in overall. Also I scan my hand held over say the back of a person,
maybe two inches above their body and I can actually feel the changes
in heat and cold in the flesh of my hand, nerves actually in reality.
This clues me in on where there are blockages in the others' nerves,
blood flow and muscle constriction. Having this information I can work
the learned massage techniques I have and affect healing. It has never
left me or misled me through the 20 years I've been helping others.

I "began" one study application with the caballa and I was floored by
the shear force of the event. What I did was read books by Dione
Fortune, McGregor Matthews, even mail ordering an obscure text by him,
and by Madame Blavatsky, volumnes by them and I followed no step by
step instruction. I simply intuited something (probably wrongly so, to
personal injury to myself alone perhaps) and implemented the
application to myself. I imagined a caballa ontop of my head. Keter at
the forefront top of my head, and each seperioth in its place
following, ending with Malkut at the top of the back of my head. I
would trace each sephiroth in my mind atop my head while walking
meditating. 

Well, what happened because of this was that I began to feel differing
pressures on top of my head. All at once certain things opened up.
Suddenly I heard a soft, yet steady high pitch of sounds, differing
notes in each ear. Different notes in each ear. They have never turned
off to this day. Also, I saw swimming molecules before my eyes. This
too has never ceased since that day. And I see at times a fabric
infront of my eyes like one is looking through a pair of sheer mesh
nylons, or a very fine chicken wire mesh in front of onself. I simply
accept these things and don't let them bother me. 

I am, I might add, to myself and other a stable person. A stable
personality, a good person and grounded for the most part. 

I gave up on the western caballa tradition because there were
instantaneous spontaneous results of which there was no available
discernable instruction or leadership to turn to. 

I now find this community and the writings of Franz Bardon and I
think, Amen. Finally. 

I am here to actualize myself fully to the depth that Father IHVH
wishes within his will established for me, for the good of others.
Ultimately, probably to return to my creator, to return this light to
it's source. 

After the 3 initial years of spiritual studies which were intense (the
dali lama was in town, some mystics were searching me out to join
thier groups, and some other weird occurances...) I was met by an
angel on the railroad tracks while walking meditating on having my
mundane past body (behind me and hulk like, slow in movements and
bulky), my natural now body (in my physical place) and my astral body
(in front of me and at a faster pace than the physical and earthly
past body) and having the three bodies in conjunction forming the
Do-In movements of the hands, (accomplishing getting the three bodies
to work in tandem is quite a task!) in visualization, and the angel
held out a rock of coal to me. I accepted the coal only after agreeing
"finally" with the angel to not attach love to the angel, but to the
gift. And at once a beam of light shot out from my chest and touched
the coal in my mentally imagined hands in front of me, and the coal
changed instantly to a diamond. Immediately the diamond was attracted
to a black hole in my chest where my heart was. I let it enter and
immediately a voice came from my chest, with an intense amount of
warmth and heat flowing from my body. The voice said; "do you denounce
the name of Jesus Christ." I answered that I gave that religious crap
up years ago, and the voice simply asked again. Well, my prayer always
was for protection to pray trust in faith of the final choices of the
practices I was adopting to the center within myself who knew who my
creator was. And this voice seemed like it. So, I said "no, I do not
deny the name of Jesus."

Immediately I began crying and walked home and cried for three days
straight. The people of the household whom I was living with took care
of me. Often just holding me in their arms and comforting me. 

The next month I got water baptised and the next month received
baptism of the holy spirit and talking/praying in tongues. That night
God actually came in a shaft of wonderfully pure light through the top
of my head and into my heart saying in the most wonderfully comforting
voice; "love all others without distinction" and ... "you can not do
this without Jesus". 

Well, the "knowledge" of the holy spirit and the voice of Father were
humbling to all of the other spiritual experiences I had had. I
figured the others were just humanly possible events, and that this
finally was really God. The difference is like the earth compared to
an ant in spiritual weight, gravity and sense. So, for four years I
was intense in the church. Serving and learning. I read the Bible two
times through, it takes a year each time through. I am dedicated,
loyal and voracious when it comes to my learning. 

After that I left the church because people were too judgmental and
hypocritical. I could not in my right conscious stand side by side
with these people and profess the same faith.

I began to find that God allowed me to use all of the spiritual tools
that had opened in the previous studies, and began using massage again
and helping others there. Also I did quite a few chackras scans and
interpretations for people and friends. 

For 15 years I have said hello to God in the morning, help me through
the day and thank you at night that he indeed has done so, and thanks
for being alive in his creation, it sincerely is a good thing. I think
he sincerely likes me. grins :)

And over the past 15 years I have always gone back and read the Sephir
yetzirah and been amazed at the wonderment caused within me over
viewing the caballa. This year finally, I began researching it
seriously on the internet and found the Franz Bardon web site and his
materials and finally this site.

My practices in the IIH system to date are for the past 4 weeks or so
of writing the 100 positive and 100 negative items list about myself
and beginning now to situate them in a listing of the four or five
elements. 

Daily I have meditated in waking and before going to sleep on the
caballa stations/sephirot within myself, pronouncing the name IHVH at
each place and sometimes merging with the sephirot and being there.
Nothing has really actualized yet, but I am also deciding not to mix
any methods and stick with the Bardon techniques and follow them
through beginning to end and be where I should be. Stable, balanced,
and an avid helper in his kingdom created.

I wish you all well,
Chuck Boyer
SeaWinder