Dear Chenxsi, >> Is there a way to break out of this cycle? << I see two clear ways. One would be to really, really, really decide to do the work. It sounds like only a part of you has decided . . . like you're committed to the goals but not the journey to them. The other way to break this cycle would be to decide that this work is not for you, at least for now, set it aside and find some other pursuit that makes you happy. You can always come back to it in future years. My best to you, :) Rawn Clark 19 Jul 2003 rawnclark@... rawn@... http://www.ABardonCompanion.com http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BardonPraxis http://E.webring.com/hub?ring=arionthebardonwe