Hulk-size anger.

["newbieonekenhobby" <newbieonekenhobby@...>]

A question I'm almost ashamed to ask.

What solution do I have (apart thought control) to get rid of an 
overwhelming feeling of injustice vis-a-vis a bad mark I got at an 
exam recently (...although I passed the exam) ? 

I even have stomach aches and can hardly get asleep on the evening. 
I feel *excessively* rejected, inferior, blahblah. 
I jump as soon as I close the eyes to meditate. Cannot continue like 
this, otherwise I'll become a kangaroo :-)

The worse is that I know I'm acting (or rather, feeling) stupidely. 
I'm the one allowing or creating an impact on me. But I can't help 
doing as I do, at this stage.

In possible relationship, I had a sort of hint when I just read in 
IIH's further steps (I'm flipping through the pages to get 
motivation) at the top of p. 229 : "Therefore it would be 
fundamentally wrong to indulge in the past and to regret every 
unpleasantness that fate has placed in your path. Only weaklings 
constantly complain and expect pity". 

"My" Tipharet is maybe sending me a message with His/Her usual 
amenity. 

At the same time, I realise all this may be a trip in the past due 
to my recent introspection : this feeling was almost my "raw 
material" when I was between 10-20 old. But it does not tell me how 
I can break this auto-feeding vicious circle.

Any idea ? What I'm gonna do right now, for the first time, is to 
approach the problem from the point of view of the Elements. Looks 
to me that Fire and Earth are expressing themselves below their 
optimal level, if I may say :-) So I'll use magic of Water and pore 
breathing to initiate an embryo of balance, and auto-suggestion to 
induce "transmutation".

May not be covered by the health insurance, but it may work :-)

...But I'd still welcome any input !

And since I'm at it : what should I do when my consciousness tells 
me to use tricks to help me going through certains exercises, and 
that I find those tricks as exercises a few levels further in IIH, a 
few days later ? May I still proceed ?

Love to all.
NB