Your third idea particularly resonated with me. I am realizing that
a flaw in my approach has been that I have unconsciously assumed that
if I am drawing something in from outside of myself, then I am
actually deficient in it. Kind of like gravity: the ball only wants
to drop, so I have to make a hole. I imagined that I could only fill
myself with a wish if I didn't have any of it inside me, ie if there
was that hole. So it became pretty self-defeating.
It still confuses me. I can, for instance, generate a certain state;
say my wish is "openness." I can cause myself to imagine and
experience openness. But then I have to imagine that it is outside
myself, and then bring it in again. This confuses me. How do I do
this without making the assumption of deficiency that I just
described, but also without making the breathing-in irrelevant?
Someone else described it as like charging a battery, which makes a
little more sense, but I would appreciate any clarification.