Re: Fwd: Introduction

["Alex Rollin" <alex@...>]

Hello all!

I want to let you know that I really do appreciate your concern for my
spiritual well being and discipline. I am really very new to any sort of
disciplined practice, and I'll be the first to say that a little practice
can only go so far. By that I mean, I consider myself to be about 12 years
old right now, if that. I can really use your care and concern.

I responded to Daniel offline, but since *bigimpact*, who invited me to the
group in the first place, has also offered concern, I would like to repost
my response to the whole group.

It is, no doubt, a much more fitting introduction of myself, at any rate.

In other news, last night, I downloaded everything Bardon from the internet.
It took awhile. How lovely to find the texts online!

Pace,

Alex Rollin
-------------
*To Daniel*

I, too, do not go out looking to be taken advantage of.

I have achieved a great deal of personal development in the few months I
have been affiliated with the center. In truth, this progress has been
nothing short of miraculous. 

I can say, that, in regards to the article, I am not surprised that these
things are reported here, and I do appreciate very much your bringing it to
my attention.

Do you have a personal opinion on the matter? Personally, I see this work at
the Kaballah Center as being very much akin to the steps in Bardon's work.
Last night I went through the 'A Bardon Companion' Step 1, and I an honestly
say that after 4 months, I am approaching some sort of real understanding of
Step 1. 

In a world where consciousness is often relegated to a non-entity, where
children are discarded, and death and gloom have replaced joy and light as
the currency of the realm, is it any surprise that the news we read on that
link has so much to do with a personal perspective stemming from religious
followers? I am not a follower. I appreciate the work I am being give the
opportunity to partake in, at the center, and I am excited, calmly, albeit,
to be the recipient of so much love and intentionality in my relations with
the teachers and other students at the center.

I am a student in Seminary, as well, and I am very familiar with the nasty
'family dynamics' that can occur in any organization. I see some of those
happening. I see some people, in their own words, totally distracted from
their personal work on the transformation of their own consciousness.

Every day we are given endless opportunities to fall...to let go of our
connection, and the work we have done, and follow the easy path.

I am still a beginner, and I am still VERY much interested in learning about
discernment. One of the most rated teachings of the Rav is the importance
of 'injecting certainty' into situations. I am still working on that. As a
causal force of will in the universe, how can I wield my power for good, be
proactive, help others, increase my tithe, grow my conscious intentionality,
and work on certainty in my relations with God? I am open to the study of
just about anything that will help me to do this. 

The Centre is well known for being what some people might call 'pushy.' The
donations, the overpriced materials, the shock of being a student in a world
where saying 'I don't know' can cost a job and an alternate future. It is
an amazing experience and blessing to work with people who are concerned
with how I am wielding my consciousness in the world, and working with this
adversity. I let it into me, this adversity, and I fought and angered, and
I worked as hard as I could to do it on my own. And I failed.

Things have turned around. There are small miracles every day. I see my
habits changing, just as I ORDAINED THEM to do so. I am the master, and I
have the help of a great many facilitators. 

Again, I appreciate very much your brining this to my attention, and showing
your concern. It comes through in the mail, and I appreciate the care in
your wording. I believe that you can help me, and have helped me, to
continue to be discerning where I might trust without thought, to understand
more completely WHAT IS ME and what is not, what is my will and what is not,
and how I am actively a part of my change. 

I need practice with my discipline, more than anything. And sometimes
things to get difficult before they get easier, but of course there is also
the lovely level jumping. Perhaps I can jump further than I think or want of
'know' that I can right now, and perhaps you can help me with that. 

The Bardon works come at just the right time. It is a part of a message
right now to, quite clearly spoken, spend as much time as necessary to
manage my current commitments and see them through. I can do it...I can do
it now. I am not reacting. And I will work through this, and I will TAKE
ADVANTAGE of every tool I can find in order to achieve the lasting peace and
fulfillment that I desire.

I will also continue to explore any and every possibility to achieve the
same goals faster, and more personally. 

But I ask, please, to keep in mind one thing about me. I can act with
certainty, and I can pull the truth out of the air, but I cannot sit
quietly. Not yet. I am a babe, and I am new to true light work, or
consciousness action. I have been an unguided missile to this point, and
now it is time to examine the circuitry, and to take control of this
rocket.\

Any help, links, resources, or time that you would offer are greatly
appreciated. Thank you again for the information.

Alex Rollin