Re: Miscellaneous questions

["David Yeh" <ldreamr@...>]

Hello Chuck,

Thanks for your reply. One thing I really like (and sometimes 
hate ;) ) about this message board is that I am always challenged to 
be my best self. In this case, you point out that I may be putting 
my fingers into too many pots without tasting any of them. In many 
ways you are right, and at the root of it is low self worth, my 
number one character issue. So I really appreciate your post as it 
has helped me to see this more clearly in myself.

It remains difficult to trust myself; which is also tied in to self-
worth. So in the meantime I would still welcome any answers to the 
specific questions I asked, more as a confirmation to what I think 
I've figured out than anything else.

In any case it is probably time for me to go back to tackling the 
self-worth issue, which my mind seems hell-bent on distracting me 
from.


Thanks,
David

--- In BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com, "cboyer1951" <seawinder@h...> 
wrote:
> David;
> 
> What I sense in your questions is something very familiar to myself 
> personally. You seem to have proverbially tipped over all of the 
> containers on the feeding shelf and are eating from whichever 
> container seems good at the moment. At least your questions sound 
> just like mine when I at first did that. 
> 
> It has roughly been 14 months that I've been practicing IIH, PME, 
> KTQ, Self Healing Archaeous, YHVH-TMO, 8-Temples, 7-Letters of 
> Lomer, the Emerald Tablet of Hermes, I-Ching, Deeper advanced 
> Chackras work, Deeper Pranayama exercises. 
> 
> Today marks the end of week 1 of going back to Lesson 2 of 
> Initiation Into Hermetics and doing it "right." I have finally 
> finished spinning my wheels with getting hardly anywhere, though it 
> all seems so wonderful. I have 'seeded' my subconscious controlling 
> of my character sculpting using the 'flanking' method before 
falling 
> to sleep. I have accomplished a "LOT" of character sculpting in 
this 
> one week alone, painful and emotional and reassuring and joyful in 
> it's opposite extremes being either scolded and modified or praised 
> and reinforced.
> 
> Another example; for over 13 months I had been inbreathing the 
> elements, fire, air, water, earth into my body, and actually went 
> through breathing into each organ not only vital energy but also 
the 
> elements and memorized all of the colors and letters and element 
> quality and qualities of each letter/color combination. Come to 
find 
> last week that I was using the analogy of lava or magma while 
> meditating on the fire element, whereas I was finally shown that it 
> is rather a purple blue red flame/gas that better represents the 
> true nature of the fire element principle. I have been learning 
> solid basics in my inner workshop by leaps and bounds, in peace, in 
> the past week whereas before it was all a struggle in unanswered 
> blind faith. 'In peace,' is a key phrase. When you really eat a 
> morsel of nourishment it settles 'in peace' while being digested 
and 
> after digestion you have the wisdom/experience that begins adding 
> things up, matching this to that, to make pieces attach to other 
> logically. This is what is needed to solidify our walk, to make it 
> real and growing.
> 
> This is the work, I know, and we are all to find our own ways, so 
> trial and error is the only way. This is my point. Because I had 
> stretched myself so thin in so many varying directions at the same 
> time I couldn't really feed the hunger for a "solid" foundational 
> bit of nourishment. I was eating only junk food that was not even 
> being digested by my system, just expectorated right out of me. I 
> had done it, but gotten little to nothing out of it. 
> 
> I 'know' that Rawn's (and the other published teachings out there 
of 
> varying disciplines) teachings are meant to be fortifying of the 
> Bardon system, but taken out of context while following the Bardon 
> system can lead to dangerous dilution of the nuggets of nourishment 
> which are meant to be digested, the opposite effect of Rawn's 
intent 
> in providing the supportive working examples, for instance Center 
of 
> Stillness Meditation. For instance in this CSM exercise an 
> inexperienced person just beginning out may use this self hypnosis 
> exercise and attempt while in this influenced state to practice 
> other exercises or attempt high logic meditations... whatever as an 
> example. And with your senses 'diluted' 'muted' or 'numbed' by the 
> removal of their accute sensory lines cause the practitioner to 
> completely miss any sensory input concerning the work of focus. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I am NOT discounting the profitable highly benefitial 
> influence of Rawn's CSM for its' intended purposes. I am only 
> pointing out that it may be used incorrectly, in particular as 
being 
> a possible hinderance as eye candy instead of practical work doing 
> Lesson 1 or 2 or 3 of IIH. 
> 
> I only espouse all of this from personal experience and in the case 
> that it may assist David in this one instance.
> 
> I wish you all well,
> Chuck