Re: Step one again(sorry)

["Alan Cook" <fish_studios@...>]

Dear setiamon,

>> I know i keep going back to the very first step but for some reason
it just doesn't work like the book and discussions suggest,at least
not for me. <<

As Bardon says quite often, development is individual for each person.
So if he says that an exercise is suppose to be difficult, and for
some reason it's not for you, then you might have already developed
that ability. On the other hand, it could also be an indication that
one is doing the exercise incorrectly.

>> When i go into relaxed observer conciousness all thought stops
within a few seconds,it becomes no different then the vacancy
excercise I spent about 7 hours trying to get into a state where my
mind would wander on aimlessly but simply put it only wanders when i
have no conciousness or objectivity,as soon as i center myself in a
observer conciousness its like the facet is turned off at most a few
drops of commentary originate in my mind to which the inner observer
conciousness mimics and vibrates in synchronicity with it till it
stops. <<

To quote Bardon:

"But from one exercise to the next, he will state that thoughts come
up less chaotic, moderating little by little, until at last only a few
thoughts emerge in his consciousness, arriving, as it were, from a far
distance."

Now, I know that you are saying that your mind doesn't seem to want to
wander, but that's not really a bad thing. At the same time, you want
to be sure that your thought isn't to observe your thoughts. Some
people use an analogy of watching a movie to describe the process of
the exercise. The only problem is, you don't want to involve yourself
in the movie, which is what usually happens. Make sure that you are
not concentrating so hard on observing your thoughts, that the idea of
observation becomes your thought. Does that make sense? If not, I
think I can clarify that a bit.

I've found that depending on how busy my day is, the thoughts that
arise in my mind may be few or many. Especially if there is an
important event coming up, or there is something that is really
bothering me.

I'd suggest moving on to the next exercise and seeing how that goes. 
Even take a few days off from the control exercise. It's called an
exercise in that it forces you to exert effort to make an improvement.
Just like with any exercise, our bodies adjust to the routine. So,
when doing physical exercise, it is sometimes necessary to "shock" the
body into growth and out of the rut. You would usually do this by
increasing the exercise so that you over-work the muscles to stimulate
growth. However, you can also take a break and let the muscles rest
and relax a bit, and then go at it as before. It's just a suggestion,
I found it more helpful with the mental exercises of Step II.

If you're familiar with TMO any, it's like a miniaturized version of
looking down at your Malkuth Self from your Tiphareth Self. It's that
same type of detachment. If you're not familiar with TMO, then just
ignore that last comment. ;)

Hope that helps!

Sof tov, Hakol tov
--Alan