Relationship Egregore
© 2002
>> About this egregore thing: Say a couple are together, then separate, move apart. If they still like each other, will the egregore still be active -- even though they consider themselves separate and divorced? <<
The egregore is the personification of the emotional and mental ties that bind. It is as strong and as active as the emotions that empower those bonds. If those emotions are weak, then the egregore reflects this weakness and vise versa.
>> What would it take to dissolve it? <<
The complete severing of every emotional or mental bond. In other words, it's very hard to accomplish. Usually, the egregore will just change instead of truly dying.
>> If one or both parts were infatuated in someone new, or had sex with someone new, would that kill/weaken the egregore? <<
It would definitely *change* the egregore, but whether it would weaken or strengthen it depends upon the parties involved. If turning outside the core relationship was mutually beneficial and okay with both, then this could well strengthen the egregore while changing it. If it was not okay with either party then it could weaken the egregore, but *most* likely the fact that it was not okay would create still stronger emotions and ultimately strengthen the power that the egregore exerts upon both parties (in a negative way).
>> For example, say I have separated from my partner. I am not sure about her but *I* definitely think we should be together, again. I feel that we are not "through" with each other. I have probably fed this "egregore" more than she has, but I think it is *there*. I have not entered into new relationship, and I think neither has she. The egregore would depend as much on her feelings as mine, would it not? <<
Egregore psychology, if you will, is a complex thing. So long as there is an emotional connection you are not, by definition, "through". An egregore is created by, and owes its existence to, this connection. Its reflection or personification of that bond is usually a mixture of the sub-conscious and conscious aspects of how each party feels about the other. [I say "usually" because there are also intentionally created egregores that act by a somewhat different set of rules.] Most often, it's composed primarily of the sub-conscious feelings and less the conscious ones. This is the power it holds over the parties involved -- that of one's own unknown, sub-conscious feelings and motivations.
It exerts this power negatively when a change in the relationship is unrecognized, denied or resisted. On the other hand, it exerts a positive, supportive power when change is recognized, accepted and openly dealt with.
When both parties are capable of recognizing the egregore and are willing to learn from it, it can become a tool for facilitating change and growth. It will reveal that which each party needs to have revealed in order for the relationship to flourish and for each party to flourish independently.
My best to you,
:) Rawn Clark
20 Oct 2002