Concentration Vs. The Background Agitation of Sexual Energy
© 2002
>> I am into anything that can assist mental development and the concentration exercises. One of the biggest aids is removing what I call "background agitation", which is the degree of resistance the mind gives to concentration exercises. One question that I have is about redirecting/transforming sexual energy into mentally "productive" energy. <<
This issue has nothing at all to do with physical energy, be it sexual or otherwise. It is an emotional and mental issue. This is why Bardon combines the mental exercises with the soul mirror work. Sexual energy becomes interruptive to concentration only if there is an emotional component to it. Once you understand that emotional content and can deal with *it* directly, then sexual energy is no distraction. Fundamental to this process is the thought "control" exercise in which you learn to *distance yourself from direct participation* in this layer of your mind's working.
The primary emotional issue that gives your sexual energy the ability to interrupt your focus is the fact that we are taught (by our Western culture) to think it a dirty thing, a thing that degrades us when we "give in" to it. This is mainly because orgasm and sexuality are so pleasing to the body and we are taught that our physical bodies are also dirty things which we should ignore if we are to be spiritual creatures instead of animals. In my experience, this is all bullshit meant to create a guilty schism of consciousness. It stands in direct opposition to nature!
Our bodies are a divine gift, not a curse. At the physical level, they are our only tool for the perception of joy, pleasure and beauty -- all of which are important divine qualities. It is also through our physical bodies that we receive astral and mental nourishment while we exist in the physical world. Through our sacred physical bodies we can perceive and experience things in the physical world that nourish the highest levels of our being.
Some physical experiences nourish *only* the physical body and reach no higher into the layers of Self. Watching a pornographic movie is an example of this -- it might fulfill physically but does not fulfill at emotional or spiritual levels. Same with eating a BigMac (shudder) -- it fills our stomach but in no way nourishes the higher bodies. *The same is true for sexual acts that are performed within the context of guilt or shame, and for unfulfilled sexual energy that bears this same imprint of guilt and shame -- these things do not nourish the higher bodies.*
However, when sexuality is seen as the perception and experience of the divine gift of physical pleasure and is engaged in *thankfully* and *without shame*, then it *will nourish these higher levels of Self directly.* For me, an orgasm is an opportunity to experience a physical pleasure that simultaneously nourishes my higher Self. I always appreciate it as a divine gift since there is so little physical pleasure of this type to be had.
So when I feel my body's rise of sexual energy, it does not hold this charge of something unknown wanting to be fulfilled. You see, when sexual energy is experienced within the context of shame or guilt, you never experience this higher nourishment, BUT *your body and your higher Self know what you're missing*. This schism, generated by the fact that some essential parts of you know one thing while the controlling surface-self contradicts this knowledge, is what makes sexual energy so overpowering to the surface-self.
Again, this is why the conjunction of the soul mirror work and the mental exercises is so crucial. As you pursue these two, you come face to face with these issues *in the context within which they exist* -- your mind and your personality.
Our cultural inheritance plays a major role in the normal personality, especially those parts of our inheritance pertaining to sexuality. If the soul mirror work is approached with true and ruthless self-honesty, and a self-examination that truly sweeps *every* corner of the psyche, then it is *inevitable* that the student will be faced with these issues generated by the conflict between our cultural inheritance and nature. This conflict is, in most cases, the causal root of the *formation* of negative personality traits.
The Buddha said that incarnation involved suffering and that suffering is what we mostly focus upon. While this is obviously a truth, it's not the whole truth. The reason we experience mostly suffering is because this is what we are taught to focus upon. But that's not our only alternative, nor is it, IMO, the original intention of physical incarnation. The Earth is meant to be like a soft velvet glove that supports us and nurtures us at *every* level of Self. Instead, we have made it a place that we fight against and try to force to our will, a place of great suffering.
Initiation is a process of reversing this damage and reclaiming our ability to nourish our *whole* Self -- a process that brings these higher levels of Self down into the velvet glove we have re-created. This is why the initial work of IIH is so focused around the equilibration of the personal levels of Self -- we re-create ourselves at the lowest level *first* and this is what creates the environment in which a still higher level of Self can manifest *at the physical/personal level*.
This initial work of personal self-transformation is itself nourishing to the *highest* level of Self. It allows your highest Self to shine just a little more brightly in the darkness of this physical realm. And that is a VERY powerful and blessed event! This additional light acts like a seed containing the potential (if you nurture it) for so very, very much more.
So (sorry to have blathered on so much!), down to some practical advice. :)
I suggest that you experiment with experiencing your sexual energy as a gift. Instead of resisting it and pushing it away, try embracing it and taking pleasure from it. I'm not suggesting that you have to physically satisfy it every time it arises (that would be exhausting! ;-)), what I'm suggesting is that you try to experience the energy itself this way, whether you satisfy it or not. And when you do take things into your own hands, so to speak, do so as an act of joy and as a simple taking of pleasure due you since you are in a physical body. Try to experience this pleasure with the higher levels of your self-awareness as well. In other words, draw every bit of pleasurable nourishment from it as you possibly can, with your *whole* self. Don't let it be a purely physical experience.
Also in conjunction with this experiment, I suggest that you nourish the higher levels of yourself through other means. One excellent example is the perception of beauty. When you see, hear, smell or feel something that strikes you as beautiful, focus your mind upon it and drink in its beauty. Savor it and let it penetrate your consciousness. Dwell upon it for as long as you can or desire to. Do this or similar every chance you get and make good use of every opportunity presented to you.
This latter practice will fill the stomach, so to speak, of the higher levels of Self and the sexual energy will be less pressing and distracting.
My best to you,
:) Rawn Clark
13 Sep 2002