Re: [BardonPraxis] Recurring fear

[Andrew Llewellyn <andrew@...>]

Hi NB,

Seems like you may have created a larvae. In my experience I reckon the 
best thing to do is either a) ignore it , b) use your imagination - perhaps 
a shield around your person? or c) observe your fear in your mind.

Cheers,

Andy



At 06:57 16/01/03 -0800, you wrote:
>After 1-2 weeks working on the first exercise of the
>first level (!), I was obliged to recognize that a
>peculiar, specific and recurring problem was
>preventing a "full scale concentration" during my
>practice.
>
>This problem is a fear of being disrupted or assaulted
>during the exercise (even if I'm alone in my flat),
>which obliges me to keep a certain portion of my mind
>observing and watching, the result being that only
>60-80 % of my consciousness are allocated to the
>exercise, while the rest is "expecting something to
>happen".
>
>Physical assaults and disruptions took place in the
>past I must say (outside meditations, but frequently
>when I was quiet), so my "strategy" became to be
>always alert, with the "alarm switched <on>".
>I know this sounds quite pathological, but I need to
>solve it - and I'm gonna solve it this time.
>
>In the past, the fact that I was fearing something
>each time I meditated had a funny side-effect, meaning
>that I learned to reach alpha level and deeper quite
>rapidly (getting eyes movements etc.) as well as
>coming back earlier than the other students. Although
>I had good results from my visualizations, all this
>doesn't help me now when practicing the Bardon system,
>which implies staying in the exercise a fixed amount
>of time.
>
>...And I realize now that I was never 100 % in my
>previous practices, regardless of what I may have
>believed at that time, and that this fear was present
>at the back of my mind all the time - even outside my
>meditations. Always unconsciously looking above my
>shoulder, so to speak.
>
>I obviously tried to look at the elements-related
>components (Fire and Air and Water maybe, not to speak
>about Earth :-), but I have problems determining what
>belongs to the cause, to the effect, and especially
>what the cure is :-)
>
>How can I solve that ? How can I suppress that fear ?
>
>Many thanks
>NB
>
>
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