Re: requesting help with chapter 1 of IIH

["caltobe" <caltobe@...>]

Hi Maria
I have, like yourself, been struggling on and off during a year or 
so with the mental excersises in IIH step 1. It was not until 
recently that I managed to achieve some progress with those. I had 
two big obstacles to overcome. the first is a very active 
brain...constantly planning, analyzing and in general being a big 
pain in the lower back so to speak. Another problem was 
expectations. I was having certain expectations about what to 
experience, certain ideas about how it would feel to reach EOM for 
example. Therefore I was constantly looking for and trying to reach 
that experience. And that, IMHO, is one of the best ways to make all 
efforts futile. So why is that so? I don't know if this is correct 
or if it's just my own interpretations but I'm sure someone will 
correct me if I'm wrong and I hope you do. 

The first mental excercise is an experience of the hermetic 
principle of gender as manifested in our mind. The Kybalion speaks 
about the "I" and the "ME" as the masculine/feminine principles, the 
Will and Creative force respectively. It describes the "ME"-part of 
our minds as the creating part, the part that reacts on stimuli from 
the outside and responds to them. Our thoughts, emotions etc belong 
to the "ME". The "I" in contrast does not react, it just IS, firmly 
in the present and is responsible for triggering the ME into action. 
It could be described as pure Will.

In most of us the "I" is dormant and we go around our whole life 
in "ME"-mode. The purpose of the first excercise is to experience 
the existence of the "I". At least that is something I learned from 
it. Think about it, to observe something you need to be separate 
from what your observing. If you're not separate then your 
participating rather than observing. From that follows that if we 
can observe ourselves thinking, then there must be two different 
parts in our minds - the "I" and the "ME". Furthermore, if the 
Kybalion is correct, it's the "I" that observes the "ME".

The next part is to actually start learning to use our "I" in 
constructive work. It's sole purpose is to will the creative "ME" 
into action in a beneficial direction. If "ME" is left alone it will 
start creating stuff on its own just out of boredom. New dishes, 
shopping lists and pointless songs going round and round in your 
head. That's the purpose of the Single thought excersise. Your "I" 
is giving the "ME" orders to follow one train of thoughts and if it 
goes astray your "I" firmly pulls it back on track.

The last excersise, EOM, is an experience of the pure "I". When "ME" 
is disconnected. When I started doing the excersise I had an idea 
that the experience would be totally blank. I would stop existing 
and magically pop back into reality a while later to realize "Great! 
I just had an EOM experience". As far as I'm concerned that state 
of "non-being/non thinking" is maybe achievable but not the least 
desireable. You want "non thinking" and pure "being". An experience 
of the pure "I".

Truthfully, I don't know if I have experienced EOM. I think I have 
and doubt if I can ever be sure. Seen in the light of the "I" 
and "ME" parts of ourselves the EOM is clearly an experience of 
the "I" when "ME" shuts up and that description fits what I'm 
experiencing perfectly. Yes, I have impressions when I reach my EOM. 
But it's a different kind, I'm not involved. It's there and i know 
it, but i don't care...or rather "ME" doesn't care because my "I" 
told it to go to bed.

Summary...
1. Realize that our minds are composed of "I" and "ME" parts 
through "observation of thought"-excersise
2. Learn to use the power of your "I" through "singlepointedness"
3. Experience the pure "I" through EOM

ehh...and what was your original question? Sorry for the rambling 
but hope you get something out of it. Just relax and enjoy the EOM 
in the present. Forget about any results or expectations. Then they 
come.