Re: [BardonPraxis] requesting help with chapter 1 of IIH

["Rawn Clark" <rawnclark@...>]

Dear Maria,

>> I am new to this group. <<

Welcome to BardonPraxis! :)

>> For a very long time now (years), I am working every day very
diligently on chapter 1 and wasn't able to stay for 10 minutes without
thoughts. I feel quite desperate and am reaching out for your help. What
helped you? How did you get to the place of having control over your
thoughts? <<

This difficulty with the emptiness or vacancy of mind exercise is
generally due to an incomplete mastery of the first two mental
exercises. I strongly suggest that you start over with the mental
exercises.

Below, I've appended part of a recent post of mine in response to a
series of questions on the FranzBardonMagi discussion board that might
be of assistance.

My best to you,
:) Rawn Clark
07 Sept 2003
rawnclark@...
rawn@...
http://www.ABardonCompanion.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BardonPraxis
http://E.webring.com/hub?ring=arionthebardonwe
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>> 1. What were your first experiences as a beginner about the mind?
About controlling it? The difficulties? I would like this to be as
detailed as possible. <<

When I first sat down and attempted the first mental exercise of Step
One, it seemed impossible. My mind was so active and entirely out of
*my* control, or so it seemed. The first hurdle for me was to believe
that I actually did have control over it! ;-) I remember being very
frustrated at first. It wasn't until I stopped fighting my mind
(fighting it took a LOT of energy for zero result) and quit trying to
arm-wrestle it down by sheer force of will, that my frustration passed
and the excitement began.

>> 2. What improvements did you notice, and how did they come about?
In general, I am asking for a description of your progress for complete
novice, to intermediate, to advanced. Hopefully, there are a few here
who are advanced enough to really be qualified to give advice and
enlightenment, not from a theoretical point of view, but from the point

of view of a true practitioner. <<

The first improvement was that my struggle taught me not to struggle.
:) Once I'd jumped that hurdle and was able to *passively* observe the
activities of my mind I learned many things about the nature of my
brain-bound consciousness. Number one was that it ended up being a
pretty quiet place once I had disengaged and stopped participating in
its activity. Number two was that the thoughts that did arise in that
relative quiet were significant thoughts. They arose and dissipated on
their own and from observing this, I realized that it was those seed
thoughts that my surface consciousness turned into all that mess of
randomness that typified my mind before. But those slow thoughts within
the quiet were quite different than what my surface consciousness
created out of them, so different that the surface chaos was
unrecognizable as having any essential significance.

It was my success with the first exercise that enabled my success with
the second. Specifically, it was learning the ability to detach my
active awareness from participating in the surface consciousness.

>> 3. How do you define concentration or "one-pointedness"? What
thoughts are excluded? And how did you experience this? <<

The second exercise is about learning how to focus your attention and
how to keep it focused for a length of time. This can really only be
done effectively within the context of a quiet mind.

This exercise was very easy for me once I had attained a relative quiet
of mind. Instead of focusing upon one of the seed thoughts that arise
in the quiet mind, I put one of my own invention into that environment
and focused on it. At first this didn't work because once I focused on
this new, foreign thought, my brain-bound surface awareness took over
and began participating in the seed thoughts that were arising in the
background and all hell would break loose! ;-) It was like trying to
read while the TV's blaring. :-) Part of your mind is still listening
to the TV.

How I overcame that was by ignoring it. After a while, even that
background noise turned to quietness and I was able to focus my *whole*
attention on my created thought form.

There are no hard and fast rules about what to exclude and what to
include.. Those are intuitive, self-directed choices. At first I stuck
only to those thoughts that had a clearly direct relevance to my chosen
idea, and ignored (i.e., didn't participate in) those thoughts that had
no clear relevance. Later, I experimented with opening those
parameters. From that experience, I learned which layers of association
are worth pursuing and which aren't.

Then I experimented with focusing my attention upon the seed thoughts
that naturally arose in the quietness. These were very fertile ground
for exploration!

As soon as I got the hang of the exercise, it was no problem to maintain
my focus for as long as I desired or as was needed.

>> 4. How did and how do you experience "emptiness of mind" as it is
called in this list? <<

This exercise is an extension, in some respects, of the first exercise,
but it takes the well honed ability to focus your mind and keep it
focused, to achieve a true emptiness. The hurdle for me was in letting
go of those seed thoughts that arise in the quiet mind, when I wasn't
focusing it on anything else. I could let go of them easily if I
focused on a created idea, but with this exercise there is no created
idea to focus that attention upon. Even though in the first exercise, I
had learned how to detach from participating in them, I discovered that
it was a different matter to not even perceive them arising. This took
a different sort of focus and a good amount of will power for me to
achieve *complete* silence of *thought*. I found that this state
required that I focus *just* upon perception of what *is*, and willfully
ignore all thought processes of any kind. It was also here that I
learned the value of setting aside the input from all of the physical
senses beforehand. This eventually lead to my composing the "Center of
Stillness Meditation".

It took me about a month of steady effort to finally achieve a true
emptiness of mind. After that, time became less and less of an issue
and within another month I could hold the emptiness for as long as I
desired.

The emptiness itself is very difficult to describe with any
succinctness. :) It is infinite. At first it was absolutely dark and
I felt completely alone. But this changed with time and I now
experience it as filled with brightness. This brightness contains an
infinite amount of information that supercedes "thinking". Thinking
comes *after* its perception within the emptiness and is part of how I
integrate it into my mundane consciousness. Its *perception* however,
requires the complete absence of *thinking*.

My best to you,
:) Rawn Clark
29 Aug 2003
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