Re: [BardonPraxis] Some problems i created

["Rawn Clark" <rawnclark@...>]

Dear Kos Kou,

>> All these was untill yesterday and today I went to a therapist <<

I'm glad to hear that you've begun therapy. :) As I said before, this
is something you need, especially if you are going to continue with the
IIH work.

>> and he told me that this (observing myself) was just a different kind
of conciousness. But I didn't expect to see this conciousness, I
expected when I was started to always observing my thoughts that I will
have a change in my personality that will last, to observe my thoughts.
And that's why when I felt like this(observing myself)I thought that was
a naturall situation,a change, that will last forever and not just an
another kind of consiousness. And it was from this that I thought that
there is no turning back from that really unconfortable situation I was.
I thought that I would have a change that will last, this change was
anxious and negative emotions, and subconsious gave me these negative
feelings as a change that will last. When I understand this
misunderstood of mine I was again ok, but I feel oversensitive and
afraid of changes.
What I would really like from you please is to tell me your opinion
about these, what should I do and how real changes comes in this course.
Because if a change as psychic abilities comes to me as my personality
is now this will be really scary and catastrophic. Also I can see that I
can reach that state of consiousness very easily. Is this state "a
safeguard" from negative emotions and thoughts? <<

IIH presupposes an already stable mental terrain and *in that context*,
change is gradual, arrives in a predictable pattern and at times when
the student is ready and able to cope with it. When the internal mental
world is not stable however, then changes can take the student by
surprise and arrive at times when they are not prepared to cope with the
consequences of those changes. Most important is the student's ability
to accurately understand those changes, especially when the interior
landscape is unstable. Here is where a therapist would be most valuable
to you -- they offer an external perspective which can help stabilize
the internal landscape and help you to put your experience into proper
perspective.

That said, I want to reiterate what I've said to you in the past, that I
seriously think it is unwise for you to pursue IIH at this time in your
life. I urge you to reconsider this course. I suggest that you
investigate other ways of fulfilling your spiritual aspirations -- ways
that don't generate the sort of fear and confusion you experience with
this path. Perhaps a path taught to you personally by a face-to-face
teacher who could help you to clarify any misunderstandings that arise,
as they arise?

My best to you as always,
:) Rawn Clark
21 Jan 2004
rawnclark@...
rawn@...
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