VOM attacks!!!!!

[Justin Bedwell -seriouslyitIs! <devilsgoatee@...>]

Hello all! Chuck, thx for that wonderful post on the glass of water, very nice!

Ok down to buisness, since i started my soul mirrior work and got a problem 
down (a small one to see the work done and to get a success under my belt) now 
i am working on a bigger issue one that really plauges me, nearly every aspect 
of me at that!

Good thing is i see the problem bad thing is that don't fix it:)
See i really, REALLY enjoy smoking, however i am addicted to it, well to be 
more accurate the addiction takes smoking as its ambassador, when i quit 
smoking i get addicted to coffee so its not just smoking i know, and i have 
those issues mapped out and i am working on them. The conflict comes in with my 
enjoyment of it (smoking/coffee just as the outward show of problem and to 
simplify this post) meets my will to quit. 

I know i am addicted and its no good for my health, as well as my wife hates 
the smell of smoke and my child can't and shouldn't be around it. However i 
absoluetly love smoking (i believe i said that earlier:)) This conflict within 
myself has caused me a great fallback in VOM, i cant go 5 min without a 
distraction now :( I have also noticed problems spring up elsewhere put i am 
able to keep it mostly under control.I feel as if my addiction has declared war 
on my Hermetic path since im trying to root it out (sorry for the 
externalization of the problem but i felt thats the best way to explain it.)

Should i put VOM on hold? would this be OK? what if after i finish this problem 
i still can't focus on VOM. I have no problem focusing any other time just 
during VOM.I feel if i put it on hold i will be behind; however this inability 
to do VOM is frustrating!

Sorry to once again post my problems, and sorry for the mess i call this 
message :)

I guess all i need is to see if this has happened to others and possible ways 
to remedy the problem if it has. Its a strange feeling to desire something as 
well as want to rid yourself of said thing....hmmn.

Oh and by the way this is Draco i just got rid of the name because i felt my 
time with it passed.And yes that is my real name :)





Justin

Not all who wander are lost.

-Tolkien



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