Re: Asking for help

["Alan" <fish_studios@...>]

Dear Maria,

>> I am working on the first chapter of IIH for many (!) years now 
and I still did not arrive at having no thoughts intrude, yet. I am 
desperate and am reaching out for help. I tried everything I could 
come up with. I am following B's words very closely, did everything 
it says in there, and tried all kinds of other suggestion. I know I 
will not give up, I dedicated my path to this teaching. The advice 
that was given so far on this site, didn't work for me, I read 
through Rawn's pages on IIH on his web site. Who out there, would be 
willing and capable to give me some true guidance? <<

I had difficulty with this at first myself. *One* of my problems 
was that I was expecting it to be something that it was not. I 
would think about not thinking (which is thinking). Eventually I 
was able to let go. I was trying to shut out thoughts, when really 
it is about letting go of thoughts. It's an extension to the 
Control of Thoughts exercise. Instead of observing the thoughts, 
you simply let them all go. It really can't be described, and once 
you experience it you will understand why. And it will happen. 
Also, I suggest some meditation on your Soul Mirrors. For me, if I 
have hit an obstacle in my practice and studies, I find that usually 
the answer can be found in them.

On another note, you might want to take a break from the vacancy for 
a week and spend that time instead in meditation on why it has been 
so difficult. I know that when I have had a rather stressful day, 
or have concerns on my mind I find the Mental exercises to be *work* 
rather than *enjoyable* and *relaxing*. What I'm going to say next 
comes from experience in weight training and I'm not sure if it 
would really apply to the Work, but you can always give it a try. 
The human body is quite adaptable. Once accustomed to a given 
routine, it will *eventually* settle into the routine and not want 
to stray out of it. In weight lifting, you would reach stagnation 
in muscle growth after a while, as the body would simply adjust. To 
counter this, you would "shock" the body into growth. Usually with 
a particularly brutal work out. I suppose you could apply the same 
to the Work if you have the time. You'd need a few hours if you 
could afford the time. Early morning would probably be best. Make 
sure that you will not be interrupted and get comfy :). Then start 
with the work of the Control exercises. After maybe 15-20 minutes, 
move into the One-Pointedness exercise. Concentrate on something 
pleasing and relaxing. You could also use it for some 
introspection. After a while, say maybe 30 minutes, *release* (not 
block) that thought from your mind. Let it flow out of you. The 
key is the flow, its free, not oppressed. Just stay that way. If a 
thought does arise, let it flow out. If you start to get 
frustrated, just think of your mind as taking up some space, as a 
sphere for instance. The goal is not to block thoughts either out 
of or in the sphere but for them to flow through so that it does not 
disrupt the sphere. It is really a relaxing exercise once you get 
the hang of it. The key though, is to not think. Which means you 
can't be thinking of thoughts flowing freely, you just have to *let 
go*. You should feel mentally refreshed or rested. Keep this state 
as long as you want. Then move into the single-pointedness. Focus 
on what it felt like to be in that state. Don't try and confine the 
Vacancy to words, but just savor the experience. Then go make some 
notes in you Magical Diary.

Just don't focus on the frustration that arises from failures. 
Failures let you know what doesn't work and will lead you to what 
does ;)

Also, I highly recommend Rawn's Center of Stillness Meditation and 
Self-Healing Archaeous. Lesson 3 of the Archaeous especially. But 
go through the other two first, else the 3rd won't really help any :)

http://www.abardoncompanion.com/MP3-Links.html

Really, don't get frustrated over not succeeding at something in the 
Work. It won't make it better, and it can certainly make it 
worse ;)

All Will Go Well,
--Alan