A nice, sweet, mental sleep.

["newbieonekenhobby" <newbieonekenhobby@...>]

This evening, after having worked on my mirror, I suddenly realized 
that I was used of spending most of my time being idle, not focused 
on anything, a bit like a bottle's cork (don't know the correct 
wording) floating at the surface of water. Days long. 
...The opposite of the thought discipline exercise in level 1 IIH, 
that I considered as having completed, as far as the first contact 
was concerned.

I also realized a few other things, which didn't exactly consolate 
me :

a) I have been able to keep myself in this state during *my whole 
life* because the level of real permanent awareness required by my 
daily activities was fairly low. IIH not included :-)

b) When situations required my full awareness for a long time, my 
failure (if any) was considered as a lack of skills - not as the 
punition of a sleeping newbie.

c) What I considered as mental activities or as work was actually 
islands within an ocean of idleness.

d) A good portion of my mind was actually sleeping ...and probably 
dreaming - hence my problems with mind chatting, probably.

I don't know whether this sudden "clairvoyance" comes from my 
renewed practice of IIH level 1-2 or because I started using 
spagyric mixtures containing "Euphrasia Officinalis" :-) but I must 
say it's a bit of a shock.

Did anybody realize the same thing, or am I telling me stories 
again ?

Cheers :-(

NB