Re: [BardonPraxis] Re: Doubts about the path

["Rawn Clark" <rawnclark@...>]

Dear David,

I'm very pleased that my remarks spurred you on to think in these new
ways. :)

>> But herein lies the question: If I lack the wisdom to make a
decision, and all of my previous decisions were based on personal
desires rather than deep understanding, than how can I make a
decision? It seems that I am always making choices that are ego-
driven and lacking all of the information. <<

Having recognized an error, the solution to acting differently is to
consciously take the course opposite to the one in error. In other
words, separate out your ego and become well informed.

At your age, you have plenty of time to make mistakes. :) It is far
better to make and follow a decision and have it later proven incorrect
than it is to sit forever in a quandary over which decision is The Right
One and never make any decisions. There is great power in *doing*. If
you're wrong in the end, then you've learned valuable lessons that you'd
never have learned had you done nothing but worry about which decision
is right.

The *only* way one learns the self-trust and self-confidence that lead
to self-reliance is through taking risks. Trial and error is a reliable
teacher.

>> Acknowledging that all paths are equivalent in their essence but
different in their flavors, does that mean choosing a path that seems
right initially and then committing to it for at least a certain period
of time, until I have learned enough to know? I've heard it said that
one should achieve black belt rank in a single martial art before
considering integrating any other fighting styles into their repertoire,
in order to have a firm foundation and basis for good judgment. Might
the same apply to the spiritual paths? <<

Yes.

>> I guess I would also like to reiterate and elaborate on my resistance
to the Bardonian path based on the overwhelming amount of information.
It has certainly not been easy to grasp many of the concepts and I
suppose I have been under the misapprehension that learning should be
easy. <<

:) A clear sign that you've been a victim of the American school
system! Unlike school, this endeavor requires that you think for
yourself. It's more like independent study in which you must establish
your own curricula, set your own standards of achievement, etc.

>> It is just that I don't quite have a sense of what and how much I am
supposed to know, in terms of theory, at any particular stage. Amongst
the beginning pages of IIH, there is the picture of the Magician tarot
card, for instance, and several pages later a listing of the different
parts of the body and their magnetic and electrical aspects. As a
beginner in the Bardon system, with no prior background in tarot or any
other aspect of Western esoteric traditions, what am I supposed to do
with that? Is it information I should memorize? Is it something I
should set aside because understanding will naturally come as I explore
later steps? Is the text something I should pore over and meditate on
to get a deeper understanding? If so, is it implied that this is
something that I will do on my own as I progress, though not laid out
explicitly in the steps? <<

Bardon stated in several places at the beginning of IIH that the student
should read the theory section and *meditate* extensively upon its
contents. In Step One, he gave the basic meditation techniques that the
student should apply to their investigation of the theory. Naturally,
one's understanding deepens with time and experience.

>> I think this is what I meant when I said that IIH seemed bare-bones.
I notice that Rawn disagreed with this; if he would, I'd like to hear
his response to this. <<

It all comes down to *doing*, not to how many words have been applied in
explanation. Bardon gave enough words of explanation for the student to
begin *doing* the exercises and once the student begins *doing* them,
the rest reveals itself in the practice. Having more of a detailed
instruction would not have made the *doing* any easier nor would it have
negated the need for discovering what is revealed through *doing*. One
can read till the cows come home and develop a crystal clear
*intellectual* comprehension, but until one *does* the exercise, one
will never really *know*. It's the *doing* that's important and which
teaches, not words.

>> To my beginner's eyes it doesn't seem that Bardon did much in the way
of emphasizing any particular thing, the way some Buddhists meditate
many hours a day or qigong masters work on their qi. And that lack of
emphasis is perhaps what overwhelms me. No one is telling me what *I*
need to work on most. To look at dealing with all of it at once is a
lot to handle. <<

Well, Bardon was very specific that the student should work at one
exercise from each of the three sections of a Step and not move on until
the exercise has been mastered.

>> I believe that my ego considered three options: (1) collapse under
the pressure, (2) bail out for a seemingly "better" (easier) path, or
(3) deal with it. My doubts came up because I was afraid of #1 and felt
like doing #2. <<

Well, since options 1 & 2 seems to be unsatisfactory to you, that leaves
option #3, doesn't it? In the end, it's what you'll have to do, so it's
now or later.

My best to you,
:) Rawn Clark
02 Jan 2004
rawnclark@...
rawn@...
http://www.ABardonCompanion.com
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