Re: [BardonPraxis] Can't wake up...

["Rawn Clark" <rawnclark@...>]

Dear Lee,

>> I have been gradually working through the Step One exercises, and I
find myself at a stalemate of sorts. I could easily make time for
meditation/introspection every morning before starting my daily routine.
However, I find that even with the alarm, I can't seem to get up and get
it underway. I've read the available materials in this forum, the Magi
forum, and Rawn's commentaries, and while I find all of it immensely
helpful, I have progressed no further. I agree that there is a
blockage, but I can't seem to determine what it is. I've run through
everything I can think (and not think) of to no avail. Perhaps as I
progress through the mirror work, I will stumble upon this thing that is
holding me back. Can anyone provide a personal observation that is
similar to this? And if so, what type of blockage was it attributed to?
<<

For me it had to do with several factors, primary among them was a fear
of actually transforming myself into the person I knew I could become.
It felt very "safe" being the "old" Ron and somehow less safe to live as
the "new" Rawn. For me this manifested as a certain "laziness" in
regard to arising early to perform the exercises and left me feeling as
though the exercises were a burden, a drudgery that I began to dread.
Never before had I been so "tired" in the morning and so unable to
answer the alarm clock's call! ;-)

And, like you, at the time I was unable to figure out what the problem
was. So I decided to stop worrying about the *cause* and work instead
at a *solution*. What I did was adopt a couple of the Step Two
techniques and tried my best to change the habit I had developed of not
getting up in the morning, into a habit of getting up every morning. I
developed a positive affirmation in order to reprogram my subconscious
responses and repeated it as Bardon directed, each night as I was
falling asleep and each morning *right after the alarm went off*. The
gist of my affirmation was that each morning I awake eager to perform my
exercises. I also increased my sense of eagerness through meditation
and, of course, kept up my meditation in which I sought out the root
cause of my difficulty. I firmly resolved to get myself out of bed when
the alarm went off!!!

In less than a week, I was in the habit of actually getting up when the
alarm went off, full of eagerness and energy for my exercises. It was
at that point that my commitment to pursuing the work of IIH became
unshakeable. :) And shortly thereafter I came to understand the
underlying factors which contributed to my original difficulty.

My best to you,
:) Rawn Clark
05 Oct 2004
rawnclark@...
rawn@...
http://www.ABardonCompanion.com
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