Re: First 3 steps- questions-experience-clarification

["setiamon" <setiamon@...>]

> No. Just *observe*. This is different than "following" a train of
> thoughts. Just observe, without *any* involvement, whatever transpires,
> even if by detaching from participation in its workings, your mind
> happens to quiet itself. Just *observe* :)
> 


Very curious i'm having more trouble grasping this then i would of
thought...

I find that if i "observe" a thought my will poors into that thought
train impowering it,giving it its own gravity..

am i to assume that the underlining will/energy as long as it is
formless can flow into the thoughttrain as long as the observing
"self" doesn't connect directly to that thoughttrain or ride
it?Because if i cease all will it ceeases the thoughts/movements of
the conciousness,its like sitting in a puddle of dark water(the
unconciouss)to which the will/energy flows from if you know what i
mean?i might be aware of this prematurly(at least sooner then bardon
assumes which is why he doesn't mention this) since I used to go into
trances (physical paralysis acompanied with a 'door" opening up and
moving inward to the unconciouss,have you ever experienced anything
like this??)

from what i take it the point is to retain the "Ego" or Sense of self
in its bubble and just observe the exterior sphere of random thoughts
emerging from the unconciouss?as long as no thought-webs form and
attach that ego with the thought-patterns in that exterior
thought-sphere?If I do this i feel some sense of alignment with the
unconciouss will like i'm being fed/revitalized,i assume this is a
good sign??


the second excercise

If i am correct you are saying that the point is meerly to focus on
the "seed" of thought in the unconcioussness(Gnosis/blackball) and not
let ones awareness flow to the layer of images/movements/material
expressions and associations?but its okay to have that sphere of
expressions to be in ones concioussness?like if i focus on the thought
of a watermelon I just have to focus on the underlinining impulse or
"thought" of the watermelon and just not let the arising
aossciations(sight,smell,waste,weight,texture) draw ones will away
from the underlining formless seedthought of the watermelon?

3rd "going with fear" at times these negative images seem to be coming
at me but i resist them because of their ugliness,sometimes though
these things fly into me as soon as i see them so i don't have time to 
put up my defenses and oddly anuff i feel as if they dissolve into
me,vitalizing me somewhat(not a negative experience) and othertimes
they even produce a physical effect of being jolted if you know what i
mean?like a minor kundalini movement.


If i ascertain you advice correctly then

1 i should be observing the dynamic with my mind without leting direct 
channels form between the ego(ball of action) and the exterior sphere
of thoughts/potentialities

2 focus on a thought-seed but don't try and supress the arising
associations like i'v been doining?

and 3 simple purify ones conciouss of all but the ego of
awareness?hacking down thoughts before they cross the boarder from
the formless unconciouss to this material-thought-sphere(if you know
what i mean)


if i can symbolize it like this

unconciouss will ->
conciouss ego is 0
thought patterns before conciouss and after ~
the boarder is | between unconciouss and ego
excercise one is ->|0 ~
excercise two is ->~|0
ecercise three is ->|0 -~ 

dunno if that is comprehensiable much less helpfull....