RE: [BardonPraxis] Re: What does it mean to become noble concerning passions?

["Lori V Weber" <lorivw@...>]

I used to think I had difficulty with the step 2 introspection because I
honestly believed there wasn't much wrong. And what's amazing is that I
really believed this AFTER listing all the 100+ soul mirror traits. So
my ambitious strategy was to tackle one sin a day for just over 100 days
and - ta da! - become a saint. I wasn't going to let anything or anyone
bother me. And this approach would have worked just fine if I'd never
left my house. However, I have two jobs and a bevy of kids and needed
to go out quite a bit. 



And then, when I was literally sweating my way through the painful
process of discovering (not exactly learning, but truly seeing for the
first time) that 100 days wasn't going to cut it, the gods presented me
with a few gifts. Although I was oblivious to their value at the time,
I encountered a few folks who make Sr. Mary Elephant (from the Blues
Brothers movie) look like Mother Theresa. One person loved to berate
all his subordinates in front of anyone who was available. There were a
few others, but this particular guy became one of my biggest teachers,
albeit unknowingly. Sometimes it's still hard to thank him in
meditations, but if it wouldn't have been for him, I would never have
figured out that I needed to do more mirror work, and approach it a bit
more realistically. 



The only thing that works for me is to develop a habit of catching
myself slipping. Yes, it's nice to know which element is out of whack,
but I think that may be secondary to just noticing my response to
whatever seemingly external event is irking me. I'm still not there,
but simply seeing a chain of events begin to unfold - to trigger
dark-mirror responses - can be enough to stop the problem from ever
happening. I used to actually believe that a defensive and sulky
response was perfectly justified (and sometimes I still do!) when
certain things would happen - usually when someone yelled at me at work
or when my baseball team lost a game or when the toilet was overflowing
because someone flushed an action figure, or when a piece of good work
got shot down by another boss. 



I wasn't ready to deal with the big root problem of my response.
Sometimes I still can't, but these days I can sit down with my dark
mirror and not want to get rid of it; instead I can look at things and
ask myself what can I do to change them? So, I'd take one aspect of my
reaction. Just one. And I'd tell myself to be on guard all day long
for the feeling of . whatever (say, sulky - but it could be anything).
And then I'd look for the antecedent. What made me feel that way? What
was the mental issue? What were my emotions? What was I doing
physically to process it? If I could get to my notebook with my mirror,
I'd write it down. If not, I'd just hold it in my awareness for awhile
and ask myself why this response was occurring. And it was unbelievable
to me, but I found that I could change my response. Of all the Bardon
work in IIH - heck, of all the school work I'd ever done - this was the
most amazing thing that I've ever learned. When I'd meditate on that
one thing, I could see a pattern that would kinda work like a domino
effect on bunches of other dark reactions. And all because all I did
was notice. However, I don't think any amount of meditating on my
mirror would have helped me unless it had been coupled with those awful
experiences. 



There are some aspects that are so painful to deal with that it's hard
to tackle them as "the big things" - in and of themselves. And that's
why I think a typical reaction is to overanalyze them. When I'd read
through my mirror, especially early on, I'd see so much ka ka that I'd
close it and just think about how much better I was than everyone else.
;-) ;-) ;-) So, I'd see everything I thought I needed to change and
then I'd see these problems in everyone around me. Of course, I knew I
had these issues too, but remember, I didn't think I was all that bad.
This goes back to my "100-sins-in-100-days approach." Doing the work
required me to see my warts without then turning them into a false badge
of honor. And one of the things that I needed was to let go of
processing them. On one hand, I needed to look at them, but on the
other, I really didn't want to see them. And then I needed to learn to
just quietly sit with one reaction - just one - and trace it back to
where it came from. I've found that even though it was not easy to
scrutinize myself, it even became possible to watch my reaction to how I
scrutinized, and I found that pining over my faults could take on its
own need to be let go. Just because something is on the mirror's dark
side, doesn't mean it's bad in itself. It's just there until I figure
out how to use it. And I'm still doing a lot of figuring ;-)



I didn't mean to ramble so long, but there seem to be a lot of postings
about mirror work and introspection. As someone who's greatly benefited
from this phase of IIH, I'd just like to offer encouragement to keep
doing it.

lori





-----Original Message-----
From: Rawn Clark [mailto:rawnclark@...] 
Sent: Sunday, January 23, 2005 1:00 PM
To: BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [BardonPraxis] Re: What does it mean to become noble
concerning passions?



Dear Ravi,

>> If at anytime you feel i am belaoring a fairly obvious point , please
feel free to say so. <<

It does concern me that this discussion has centered so much around
'what if's and around what *others* *might* encounter but not about
*your* own experience of these matters. This, like so much in Hermetic
*initiation*, only reveals itself to your full understanding *when* you
actually are engaged in the work itself (e.g., Jerry's recent post).
When the intellectual refinement of a question needs to be pursued to
the nth degree, it is often a sign that more time needs to be spent in
the actual practice and that the information you're really hungry for
will be found there, instead of in the intellectual explanation, no
matter how concise it might be.

>> Fair Enough .If I hear you right what you are saying is that the real
"inner voice" would *never* say "Kill" or "Dominate Others ". Underlying
this there seems to be an assumption that there is a *Universal* system
of values (and consequently "rights" and "wrongs"),irrespective of place
,time and situation. <<

What did you think Bardon's listing of the positive and negative
characteristics was about if not a *universal* statement of positive
BEing? We each however, *express and manifest* the Universal essence in
our own unique ways within the temporal realm. We personalize the
Universal. The point of initiation and of the character transformation
specifically is to *consciously* manifest our personal expression of the
Universal qualities of BEing.

>> a)the 'cultural difficulty' problem. I am an avid student of
history. Consequently I am aware of how much of our "value system" is
dependent on the cultural milieu in which we grow up. <<

How *you* feel *inside* is not rooted in your culture. It is *modified*
by your culture, but the root is in *you* (i.e., the Individual Self).

>> b)the 'real world effectiveness' problem <<

I don't understand what you're trying to say here. If you think that
the character transformation work is "fluffy bunny" or leads in some way
to "fluffy bunnyness" then it is clear you are not talking from
practical experience. I suggest that you focus on practice and see for
yourself. The character transformation work anchors you very clearly in
THIS world. :)

>> c)the "what do i do in practice" problem
I think *in practice" at step one , <<

If this is what you *think* then try it out and see if it *works*. :)
All of your speculations about what might or might not be possible have
yet to be tested through experience. Hermetic *initiation* (as opposed
to the intellectual study and speculation) is founded upon *your*
*experience*.

My best to you,
:) Rawn Clark
23 Jan 2005
rawnclark@...
rawn@...
http://www.ABardonCompanion.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BardonPraxis
http://E.webring.com/hub?ring=arionthebardonwe




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